Publishing Broke the I CAN'T Lie

My heart starts processing big changes a year ahead of time. Turning 39 was no exception.

Time can have such a powerful pull on our vision. 

For most of my life I've felt "out of sink" with the time-tables of those around me. As a young teen it appeared that "everyone" knew what sports they were good at well before my quickly growing body was able to reign in the coordination to realize running was my niche. Then everyone just seemed to know college was "it," while I longed to go oversees to the mission field. I didn't want to go with the crowd, but my vision of conforming was confronted when Father God asked me to go to school to become a teacher. It took me awhile to realize it was ok to major in something I'd already been told I had a gift for... but it took some vision adjusting because I tried out all sort of other possible majors before settling my heart's sight on education.

Then it felt like most of my friends were dating and many were already marrying, but God told me I would get married later because He had other plans for me. So, again, I adjusted my vision to wait for my husband; instead I began looking for the adventures He had for me in the present. I never dreamed the doors He'd open to the nations on my summer breaks would make my heart sing like they did. In 10 years time I traveled to 15 nations and my heart burned to continue going because when I got out my heart witnessed the power of the Holy Spirit to save, heal, and deliver at a level I'd never seen in the U.S. Meeting other young adults from all over the world and being trained to use the Word of God to pray and make declarations over lives and nations was causing me to wake up with great excitement. Each time I flew home to the "normal" I burned to be even more of a catalyst for His miracles, signs, and wonders to flow through me in my middle school classes, the youth I volunteered to serve, the young women I mentored, at the store, the gym, the gas station...

Thankfulness fills my heart when I think back on this instrumental time of my life: caught in the tension of longing for my promised husband and also desiring God to show up to transform the people I was bumping into everyday (and in the process I was transformed). "Easy" would not be the word I'd use to describe the 15 years I waited to see Jake and my promised family enter my life, but those years were foundational for building the tenacity I have today to push through challenging circumstances to lay hold of the promises of God, despite feelings that often lie.

God is the God of time. 

He owns time. He causes those places that feel dead to come alive again. What I didn't realize in my meeting Jake was that I had "jumped" again on another faith journey of "waiting"--- this time it just looked a lot different. This time waiting involved a steep climb in the patience of becoming an instant Bonus Mom of 6, sacrificing all that was familiar-- even my hopes and dreams to continue to minister in the nations, to have my own children grow close to my biological family and to celebrate birthdays and holidays together in the same state. Waiting meant letting go of what I thought it meant to be a loving mom to the kids I chose to be mine, but didn't know how to choose me back. Jesus invited me to wait on Him, lean into Him further so I could receive His vision to love at a level that'd never been required before. Jesus is daily asking me to exhibit only the love that he can give. His relentless love heals, delivers, breaths the freedom of deliverance into the broken hearted.

In reflection, the course of my life has been nothing but 'normal.' 

Living by faith looks like living outside of the mainstream, outside of human control or manipulation. I serve King Jesus who has a backwards, upside down Kingdom. He says that we must lose of our life to truly live. He called me to lay down my life-- my career that I had built over 11+ years, my hobbies, my travel desires, my heart to connect with missions, my love for the outdoor adventures in the mountains, the water, the .... to be a mom in a foreign region of our country-- one of extreme cold and heat. I moved away from all my friends and family to be a mom in family that hasn't always wanted me to be a mom. I'm still waiting for the day when my own kids "wake up" with healed hearts that can receive the love that I try to give but they're not ready to receive, yet. I will wait with hope and great anticipation.

And at the same time that I wait, I am also being called to rise up and run so that I can release what's been placed inside of me for teachers! I'm excited for this next chapter of my New Journey: The Blended Life of an Educator. It starts with my book "Speaking Words of Life in Your Classroom" being published and has already provided an invitation to speak at a local university. Publishing has broke an "I can't, because I am a mom now" lie. Don't limit what Jesus can do in and through you. He doesn't see you as trapped. He's invite you to fly with Him. No matter what space of life you're in.

You never know which way your journey will turn when you give Jesus your "YES!"

"Speaking Words of Life in Your Classroom: A Practical Guide for Calling Your Students Up Into Their Greatest Potential" is available in print and kindle on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Speaking-Words-Life-Your-Classroom/dp/B084DGNGCQ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=speaking+words+of+life+in+your+classroom&qid=1580935627&sr=8-1

Available on Amazon. At New Life Convenant Church's Book Table. And by request from the Author.